DETAILS: THE NUTS AND BOLTS

I had a section on this blog once that has bullet-point details of my surgery, but somehow it has gotten lost in cyberspace, so I'm doing it again! Lest we forget!

1. It was a Posterior Spinal Fusion of T-3 to L-3.
2. It took 8 1/2 hours.
3. I now have two titanium rods and 16 screws.
4. I don't set off the metal detector.
5. When I flew, security checked my brace and hands for explosive material. (Probably just because of my intimidating demeanor.)
6. I got three units of blood: one of my own (gee, thanks), and two donor units.
7. Donating blood was the worst part of the whole experience.
8. No, I'm lying.
9. I was hospitalized for 9 days. I loved it so much I wanted to stay.
10. Two days after surgery, the nurses FORCED me to stand at the side of the bed. It was horribly excruciating.
11. Every day after that I had to try and walk, with a walker.
12. The first few days after surgery I was so knocked out on Morphine that I can't remember what nonsense I said. I also hallucinated, had conversations with people who weren't there and slept alot.
13. The morphine was delivered through a patient-controlled pump that injected straight into my vein. I always rolled on top of my dumb button-thing and had to call the nurse over to help me look for it all the time. She would always lift it from behind my head and look at me with aggravation. Lovingly.
14. The pain was so bad just afterwards that I swore like a truck-driver to myself in bed. I have never felt pain like that, but it was worth it.
15. When I got home I took showers sitting on a shower chair like an old lady. But it felt so good that I took a million showers a day. Now I am back to none.
16. I was not allowed to take baths. I was so sad!!
17. The best part of the surgery was the catheter, which enabled me to forget about the annoying little habit I have of CONSTANTLY peeing, which is at its most active while I'm at work, where I have to run to the bathroom about 10 times a day. I've always been like that. I drink alot of coffee and diet coke. And no, I won't stop. It is NOT bad for you, and if you believe that caffiene is bad for you, I invite you to read this short article by the American Dietetic Association.
18. If anyone can invent a way for me to pee without getting out of my chair at work, I will give them a Million Bucks.
19. My spinal processes were removed and ground up, then combined with Allograft, or donor bone, and applied to my new spine, in the hopes that it will get hard and fuse everything all together.
20. I lost like 15 pounds during the whole ordeal. But really, who cares?
21. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat!